73 Funny Would You Rather Questions

What's the Deal with Funny Would You Rather Questions?

• Get to know new people
• Break the ice in awkward situations
• Test the limits of their friends' tolerance for the ridiculous
• Simply have a good laugh

1. Present the question clearly.
2. Give everyone a moment to think.
3. Encourage them to explain *why* they chose what they did. This is often where the real comedy happens!

Would You Rather Be Covered in Sticky Stuff or Have a Permanent Unibrow?

• Would you rather have to sing everything you say or dance everywhere you go?
• Would you rather have spaghetti for hair or sneeze confetti?
• Would you rather have your nose whistle every time you sneeze or your ears flap when you're excited?
• Would you rather have to eat a bowl of live ants or a plate of very spicy ghost peppers?
• Would you rather have a permanent foghorn sound come from your belly button or a tiny orchestra play whenever you burp?
• Would you rather have to wear roller skates everywhere you go or a full-body clown costume for a month?
• Would you rather be able to talk to animals but they all insult you, or understand every language but can only speak in squeaks?
• Would you rather have fingers that are always an inch too long or toes that are always an inch too short?
• Would you rather have to smell like rotten eggs or look like you've just stepped in dog poop (even when you haven't)?
• Would you rather have hic-cups that sound like a duck quacking or sneezes that sound like a foghorn?
• Would you rather have to wear a giant diaper as a hat or a pair of oversized novelty glasses everywhere?
• Would you rather have to constantly say "woohoo!" every time you walk through a door or "uh oh!" every time you finish a sentence?
• Would you rather have a personal cloud that rains only on you or a personal tornado that follows you everywhere?
• Would you rather have to eat all your meals with a tiny spoon or drink all your beverages with a straw the size of a garden hose?
• Would you rather have a laugh that sounds like a hyena or a sigh that sounds like a dying whale?
• Would you rather have to wear socks on your hands or gloves on your feet?
• Would you rather have a theme song play every time you enter a room or a spotlight follow you?
• Would you rather have to communicate through interpretive dance or opera singing?
• Would you rather have your shadow constantly try to trip you or your reflection in mirrors always wink at you?
• Would you rather have to lick every doorknob you touch or high-five every stranger you pass?

Would You Rather Be Constantly Tickled or Always Feel Like You Have to Sneeze?

• Would you rather have to speak in a baby voice for the rest of your life or only be able to whisper?
• Would you rather have to run everywhere at a snail's pace or walk everywhere at a cheetah's speed?
• Would you rather have to wear oven mitts for hands or flippers for feet?
• Would you rather have a permanent case of the giggles or uncontrollable hiccups?
• Would you rather have to wear a sign that says "I'm a Dork" or have your name changed to "Captain Goober"?
• Would you rather have to eat only plain, unseasoned mashed potatoes for the rest of your life or only lukewarm prune juice?
• Would you rather have to answer the door every time the doorbell rings, no matter what, or always have to yell "Surprise!" when someone enters a room?
• Would you rather have to wear a clown nose to every formal event or a tiara to every sporting event?
• Would you rather have your sweat smell like onion soup or your tears smell like burnt toast?
• Would you rather have to communicate with people by making animal noises or by drawing caricatures?
• Would you rather have your belly button be a portal to a dimension of infinite socks or your ear canals be filled with popcorn kernels?
• Would you rather have to wear a colander as a hat or a pair of oversized novelty scissors as a belt?
• Would you rather have to apologize to inanimate objects you bump into or thank them profusely?
• Would you rather have a permanent voice that sounds like a cartoon character or a permanent appearance that makes you look like you've just woken up?
• Would you rather have to sing your grocery list or tap dance your way through the aisles?
• Would you rather have to wear a swimsuit and flip-flops to a job interview or a full tuxedo to a casual picnic?
• Would you rather have to scream "Timber!" every time you sit down or "Plop!" every time you stand up?
• Would you rather have your nose be as long as Pinocchio's or your ears as big as Dumbo's?
• Would you rather have to floss everyone's teeth with a giant rope or brush everyone's hair with a giant toothbrush?
• Would you rather have your dreams be narrated by Morgan Freeman or have your alarm clock be a screaming toddler?

Would You Rather Have to Eat a Pencil or Drink a Cup of Dirt?

• Would you rather have to wear shoes that are two sizes too big or two sizes too small?
• Would you rather have to shout "I'm here!" every time you enter a room or whisper "Peek-a-boo!" every time you leave?
• Would you rather have to wear oven mitts on your feet or swimming fins on your hands?
• Would you rather have your fingernails grow at a speed of an inch an hour or your hair grow at a speed of a millimeter a day?
• Would you rather have to eat your food with a tiny shovel or drink your liquids with a giant eyedropper?
• Would you rather have your sneezes sound like a trumpet fanfare or your coughs sound like a duck quacking?
• Would you rather have to wear a cape that's too long and trips you constantly or a hat that's too small and keeps falling off?
• Would you rather have to communicate by only making animal noises or by drawing pictures?
• Would you rather have your nose run all the time, no matter what, or your ears constantly be itching?
• Would you rather have to wear oven mitts as gloves for a week or swim fins as shoes for a week?
• Would you rather have your laughter sound like a foghorn or your crying sound like a squeaky toy?
• Would you rather have to always be naked from the waist down or wear a tiny banana peel skirt?
• Would you rather have your shadow come to life and try to steal your food or have your reflection start talking to you and giving bad advice?
• Would you rather have to wear a diaper as a hat or a toilet seat as a belt?
• Would you rather have your farts sound like a symphony orchestra or your burps sound like a kazoo?
• Would you rather have to hop on one foot everywhere you go or walk backwards everywhere you go?
• Would you rather have to constantly wear Groucho Marx glasses and mustache or a fake pirate eye patch and parrot?
• Would you rather have to say "Oh dear!" every time something minor goes wrong or "Huzzah!" every time something minor goes right?
• Would you rather have your hands be made of sandpaper or your feet be made of sandpaper?
• Would you rather have to smell like old gym socks or have your breath smell like garlic and onions?

Would You Rather Have to Lick a Toaster or Drink a Cup of Motor Oil?

• Would you rather have to wear a t-shirt that says "I'm a Muggle" or "I believe in Bigfoot"?
• Would you rather have to shout "En garde!" every time you sneeze or "Abracadabra!" every time you sneeze?
• Would you rather have to wear a giant novelty foam finger as a hand or a rubber chicken as a shoe?
• Would you rather have your nose run all the time or your ears constantly be clogged?
• Would you rather have to eat your meals with chopsticks that are three feet long or a spoon the size of a thimble?
• Would you rather have your sneezes sound like a car horn or your coughs sound like a cat's meow?
• Would you rather have to wear a sign that says "Honk If You Love Puns" or "My Other Car is a Unicorn"?
• Would you rather have to communicate by only making beeping noises or by only making whistling noises?
• Would you rather have your sweat smell like lavender or your tears smell like chocolate?
• Would you rather have to wear oven mitts on your head or swimming goggles on your ears?
• Would you rather have your laughter sound like a dog barking or your sighs sound like a mouse squeaking?
• Would you rather have to wear a banana peel as a hat or a pair of oversized novelty sunglasses indoors?
• Would you rather have to apologize to furniture you bump into or thank them for being there?
• Would you rather have your shadow constantly try to dance with you or your reflection always try to copy your funny faces?
• Would you rather have to floss everyone's teeth with a piece of spaghetti or brush everyone's teeth with a feather?
• Would you rather have to wear a superhero cape that's always dragging on the ground or a superhero mask that completely covers your vision?
• Would you rather have your farts sound like a fire alarm or your burps sound like a opera singer?
• Would you rather have to hop on one foot every time you walk down stairs or skip everywhere you go?
• Would you rather have to constantly wear a Groucho Marx nose and glasses or a fake handlebar mustache and monocle?
• Would you rather have to say "Good heavens!" every time you stub your toe or "Crikey!" every time you see a bird?

Would You Rather Have to Lick a Frog or Eat a Bug?

• Would you rather have to wear shoes that make a "quack" sound with every step or a hat that plays "La Cucaracha" on repeat?
• Would you rather have to shout "Surprise!" every time you walk through a doorway or whisper "Hello, stranger!" to everyone you meet?
• Would you rather have to wear oven mitts for shoes or flippers for hands?
• Would you rather have your fingernails grow at a speed of a inch a day or your hair grow at a speed of a centimeter an hour?
• Would you rather have to eat your meals with a spoon the size of a bowling ball or drink your liquids with a straw the size of a toothpick?
• Would you rather have your sneezes sound like a kazoo solo or your coughs sound like a duck's quack?
• Would you rather have to wear a sign that says "Caution: May Spontaneously Breakdance" or "Warning: My Brain is Powered by Cheese"?
• Would you rather have to communicate by only making robot noises or by only making siren noises?
• Would you rather have your sweat smell like bubblegum or your tears smell like pizza?
• Would you rather have to wear swimming goggles on your nose or a snorkel on your chin?
• Would you rather have your laughter sound like a chainsaw or your sighs sound like a deflating balloon?
• Would you rather have to wear a giant inflatable ring as a belt or a crown made of broccoli?
• Would you rather have to thank lampposts for their light or apologize to the pavement for stepping on it?
• Would you rather have your shadow start telling knock-knock jokes or your reflection start singing show tunes?
• Would you rather have to floss everyone's teeth with a piece of yarn or brush everyone's hair with a toothbrush?
• Would you rather have to wear a superhero cape that makes fart noises when you flap it or a superhero mask that makes you sound like a chipmunk?
• Would you rather have your farts sound like a marching band or your burps sound like a choir?
• Would you rather have to hop on one foot every time you go up stairs or skip everywhere you go backwards?
• Would you rather have to constantly wear a fake mustache that keeps falling off or a pair of oversized novelty glasses that are too big for your face?
• Would you rather have to say "Oh snap!" every time you drop something or "Ta-da!" every time you finish a task?

Would You Rather Have to Wear a Diaper as a Hat or a Toilet Seat as a Belt?

• Would you rather have to wear shoes that squeak like a mouse or a hat that chirps like a bird?
• Would you rather have to shout "Incoming!" every time you enter a room or whisper "Boo!" when someone turns their back?
• Would you rather have to wear oven mitts on your ears or flippers on your nose?
• Would you rather have your fingernails grow at a speed of a millimeter an hour or your hair grow at a speed of a centimeter a day?
• Would you rather have to eat your meals with a tiny whisk or drink your liquids with a giant ladle?
• Would you rather have your sneezes sound like a train whistle or your coughs sound like a dog's bark?
• Would you rather have to wear a sign that says "I'm Secretly a Ninja" or "My Spirit Animal is a Sloth"?
• Would you rather have to communicate by only making car noises or by only making animal growls?
• Would you rather have your sweat smell like cinnamon or your tears smell like vanilla?
• Would you rather have to wear swimming goggles on your feet or a snorkel on your head?
• Would you rather have your laughter sound like a squeaky toy being attacked by a vacuum cleaner or your sighs sound like a deflating balloon filled with helium?
• Would you rather have to wear a giant inflatable pool noodle as a belt or a crown made of plastic forks?
• Would you rather have to thank trees for their shade or apologize to clouds for their rain?
• Would you rather have your shadow start singing opera or your reflection start doing stand-up comedy?
• Would you rather have to floss everyone's teeth with a piece of licorice or brush everyone's hair with a wire brush?
• Would you rather have to wear a superhero cape that makes you float uncontrollably or a superhero mask that makes you invisible to only yourself?
• Would you rather have your farts sound like a symphony orchestra playing a lullaby or your burps sound like a baby giggling?
• Would you rather have to hop on one foot every time you go down hills or skip everywhere you go while humming?
• Would you rather have to constantly wear a fake nose that honks or a pair of oversized novelty glasses that keep sliding down?
• Would you rather have to say "Oh no!" every time you tie your shoes or "Hooray!" every time you blink?

Would You Rather Have Your Farts Sound Like a Symphony Orchestra or Your Burps Sound Like a Opera Singer?

• Would you rather have to wear shoes that make a "moo" sound with every step or a hat that plays "Yankee Doodle" on repeat?
• Would you rather have to shout "Danger!" every time you enter a room or whisper "I'm watching you" to strangers?
• Would you rather have to wear oven mitts on your shins or flippers on your elbows?
• Would you rather have your fingernails grow at a speed of a millimeter a day or your hair grow at a speed of a centimeter a week?
• Would you rather have to eat your meals with a giant pretzel as a utensil or drink your liquids with a straw made of candy cane?
• Would you rather have your sneezes sound like a foghorn blast or your coughs sound like a hyena's laugh?
• Would you rather have to wear a sign that says "I Lost a Bet" or "My Imagination is My GPS"?
• Would you rather have to communicate by only making train noises or by only making airplane noises?
• Would you rather have your sweat smell like popcorn or your tears smell like peppermint?
• Would you rather have to wear swimming goggles on your knees or a snorkel on your forehead?
• Would you rather have your laughter sound like a dying goat being tickled or your sighs sound like a deflating beach ball?
• Would you rather have to wear a giant inflatable duck as a belt or a crown made of rubber bands?
• Would you rather have to thank street signs for their directions or apologize to the wind for disturbing it?
• Would you rather have your shadow start doing cartwheels or your reflection start telling riddles?
• Would you rather have to floss everyone's teeth with a piece of uncooked spaghetti or brush everyone's hair with a potato?
• Would you rather have to wear a superhero cape that makes you run backwards or a superhero mask that makes you speak in a robot voice?
• Would you rather have your farts sound like a marching band playing a polka or your burps sound like a flock of birds?
• Would you rather have to hop on one foot every time you go across a bridge or skip everywhere you go while singing show tunes?
• Would you rather have to constantly wear a fake nose that makes a squeaking sound or a pair of oversized novelty glasses that make you look cross-eyed?
• Would you rather have to say "Oopsie daisy!" every time you sit down or "Ta-da!" every time you open a door?